5 Reasons to Avoid Raves

1. Techno Music

We all know the long and storied harm techno music can cause on otherwise healthy people.

Raves use techno to prey upon the human brain – pulsating intense levels of bass, trebel and whisteblowing that would even send Jeff VanVonderen looking for “the balloon guy.”

2. Rave Lingo

ravers

Most people who have a hard time functioning in the real world use slang to create a sense of community around their subculture and their loser friends. Ravers are no different.

In fact, their drug lingo is so extensive, this guy decided to save us (and law enforcement) the hassle of actually have to going to a rave and talk to one of these assholes.

He listed all the lingo for us in one place. He even included his email address, in case you have any questions.

My favorites…

  • Bad Go – This is the term that’s used when someone has a bad experience with a drug.
  • E-Tard – Used to refer to a raver who has taken ecstasy and is irritating others by hugging them.
  • Sketchy – Usually how a raver will feel as they are coming off their high. The term refers to someone who is confused, unfocused, and not quite sure whether they are still high or not.

3. Rave Dancing

Only country line dancing could be considered more obnoxious than rave dancing.

Spinning around, waving glow sticks, blowing whistles…

Warning, this video may cause seizures and an intense desire to do drugs.

4. Techno Face

One side effect of rave dancing, is techno face.

When a non-raver bears witness to this, initial feelings of hilarity are quickly replaced with anger and disgust.

It’s definition, provided by a raver no doubt:

“The snarling motion of your lip when you hear some hard/emotional/unbelievable techno music. The suprised look of awe when you hear something amazing for the fist time in a techno track. The look you have when a DJ is hitting that button in your gut.”

5. You Might Die

If I am going ingest a random conglomeration of chemicals, I am at least going to get them from a friend.

1 Dead, 5 Critical After SF ‘Tainted Drug’ Rave

Daly City CA Injury: Ecstasy overdoses during Cow Palace rave prompts ban

Rave Death in LA; Heroin in Norway

Post-Rave Deaths Draw Police Scrutiny

– Quimosabe

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