We grabbed a case of beer, jumped into our cars and headed to the park.
Just another day in the dead, humid heat of mid-August. Nothing to do but find a place where we can get drunk in peace.
My buddy Chris lived in one of those housing developments full of homes that all look the same, just different color siding and shutters.
In an area still full of empty lots, there was a park with a basketball court and a few picnic tables that would serve as our bar for the night.
It was almost dusk by the time we were about a sixer away from killing a case of Mickey’s Big Mouths. The four of us had been there for about two hours.
That’s when I remembered I had two 20mg percosets left from last night. Delighted as a pig in shit, I popped them.
“Bout to be floatin…” I said.
“You’re an asshole for not sharing.” Spewed Chris.
“One ain’t gonna cut it after poppin’ two last night, so you’re SOL dude.” I said smiling.
We downed the remainder of the beer. Night set in by that point and I was on cloud nine.
“A sixer each tonight, boys. We are getting pretty bad. Once the summer is over, I’m gonna stop drinking everyday.” Said, Kyle.
“Fuck yeah, me too.” Said Chris, in a determined, yet pleasantly drunk slur.
Disgusted by what we were hearing, Jess and I blurted almost simultaneously, “Pussies!”
Thrilled at our fuckedupedness, we all had a good laugh.
Then Chris got an idea: “We need to get outta here. We should bail. Dude, let’s race!”
We grabbed the case of empties and tossed them in my trunk and saddled up two per car. Jess comes with me, Kyle goes with Chris.
Chris pulls his blue VW Bug around and we line up…
The entrance to the neighborhood was about a quarter mile away. We were at the crest of a hill, near the first stop sign you hit after you take a right off of Derry Road.
From our vantage point at the top of the hill, we couldn’t see what was at the bottom.
We rev our engines.
Jess yells out: “3… 2… 1… GO!”
We hit the gas and are off. I was looking great. I was in the lead – and drunk and whacked out on pain killers.
Then I saw it. A Ford F150 parked directly in my path. I couldn’t do shit. “BAAAAAAAM” I slammed into the back of the truck.
At the time of the impact I reached 50 mph. Every single window on my car was shattered. All four tires popped.
Chris pulls up to my left: “Are you ok? Holy shit!”
Instantly sobered by the crash, I take a bag of weed I had beneath my seat and run behind a house to stash it in the bushes. I bolt back to the car.
By the time I get back Jess was out of my car and getting into Chris’ Bug with his brother Kyle.
I told them to get the fuck out of there. “Hurry up and bail guys. This is my shit to deal with.”
“Dude, no way” Kyle said: “You are coming with us!”
That’s when the owner of the truck appears from his house. “What the fuck have you done!!” he yells while running towards the scene. His wife runs out behind him.
Chris floors it and the guys make a clean get away.
“Sir, I am so sorry, I didn’t see it when I was coming around the bend.” I plead.
“I just got it back yesterday. Some other asshole just hit it!” He screamed. “Have you been drinking?! Call the police!”
His wife runs back inside to get the phone. Seconds later she re-appears holding a cordless phone in her hand.
“Sir, please, my Dad is an insurance agent. Let me call him and you guys can sort it all out.” I quickly spout the number.
By shear luck his wife dials it. My Dad answers. She tells him what happened and their address, then hangs up.
“Call the police!” He demands. She dials 911 and tells them what happened…
Minutes tick by… We stand there in silence.
The man is fuming, walking in circles around his smashed up truck.
Then I see the headlights of my parents Corolla pull into the development. “Holy shit they made it here first!” I thought.
They pull up and get out of the car.
As they do, the police cruiser pulls around the corner.
My Dad walks over to the man and his wife. My Mom walks over to me…
“Are you ok”? She asks.
“I am drunk” I mutter.
“Here take these.” She hands me two Halls cough drops. I put them in my mouth and chew them up.
The officer that came to the scene was an older guy in his sixties probably.
He asks, “What happened, son?”
“I was racing, sir.” I replied.
“Racing, huh!?” He said with perverse pleasure and a grin. “That’s quite a financial penalty you are looking at there, in addition to your totaled car.”
Then he just turns and walks away to deal with the still irate owner of the trashed F-150.
My Dad took care of it from there. Next thing I remember, my parents and I are driving back home. I am in the backseat.
“What were you thinking? You are lucky that nobody got hurt… where were your friends?” Asked my Mom.
“When I hit the car I told them to leave.” I said sheepishly.
“You just got a $600 fine and are losing your driver’s license for six months. Great fucking friends Sam, real great.” My Dad offered in disgust.
The rest of the car ride was spent in silence. We pulled up to our house and as we were walking to our front door my Dad said, “Guess you won’t have a car for a while.”
“Yeah…” I said.
“We’re headed to bed. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.” My Mom said as she kissed me on the cheek.
They went to bed.
I waited about an hour to make sure they were definitely asleep. I ran up to my room to grab my rolling papers. I grabbed my Dad’s keys and headed back to the scene… I had to get my weed and burn one after all the craziness.
By this point it was 4 a.m. and I figured it was pretty safe to head back. I came up to the housing development and passed by to see if anyone was out and about. It looked safe.
I parked about three streets behind the scene of the accident and walked to the back of the house where I stashed my weed. It was still there. I grabbed it and ran back to my Dad’s car.
After I rolled a couple up, I started the car and cruised around until 5 a.m. smoking and thinking about what happened.
“Can’t get a rush like that from a roller coaster. No one injured, nobody arrested… What a great fucking night!” I ended up concluding.
I toss the second roach right before I pulled back into the driveway. Now fully stoned, I sit in the driveway and revel at how fun the night had been.
I didn’t have a care for my car, the poor bastard who’s truck I hit, my parents or the law. No remorse or guilt.
Just a feeling of complete satisfaction.
I exited the car and walked into my house. Hung my Dad’s keys back up and headed to bed.